Timely News

TIMELY NEWS

It is with a heavy heart today that I share this timely news.

A favourite clock has taken to doing the unbelievable! It has thrown off the yoke of responsibility and has conferred upon itself a new daily routine! Chief among the changes is that it chooses to display on its face whatever numbers it happens to fancy.  Disappointing really, considering that its role in life when we adopted it from the store was to take on the daily responsibility for the routine of getting a child up and out to school, be on call all day and then accompany him/her to sleep at night. To abandon all responsibilities just because of aging is simply unconscionable. What kind of example is that to the younger clocks?

Where would they have started – these thoughts such as letting the numbers roll around however they want and stop whenever they feel like it? 

On the other hand, why shouldn't an old clock be able to enjoy a bit of freedom before the final sad unplugging!? Maybe it should be able to pick any hour or any minute and re-live the quietness of early mornings or the alarming jangle of its youth (which, if truth be told, was more like a loud and annoying buzz saw to anyone in the room, but memories are often romanticized).

In the vein of the antics of the person in the poem, "When I am old I shall wear purple", I am beginning to think that it must have been hatching these thoughts of freedom for some time.  On another other hand, perhaps we should be celebrating such freedom - a sort of emancipation from the tyranny of time and the regular work-a-day world.

It has been our pleasure to have the clock in our family all these years and we've made the timely decision that we're not going to chuck it out now just because it's developed a quirkiness or two.  It deserves to enjoy its retirement however it chooses to use it! 

Living in the Moment

Live in the Moment

If you've been reading my occasional reflective postings you know I've more than once alluded to the challenges of growing older.  Recently the challenge in my heart has been to settle into living "in the moment".  I thought I had been, or thought I had been trying to, but realize that I haven't fully arrived (duh, of course not, do we ever “arrive” short of heaven’s gates?)

Goodness knows living in the moment is not a new concept but it’s new again to me right now. Here’s where it started.  I found myself saying to a friend a series of sentences like this:

I wish I was still doing….  I wish I could still be….   I wish I still lived at….

Hair Matters

Hair matters – it just does, doesn’t it?!

As the years have gone by, my hair styles have changed and so has my hair.  At one time I had masses of hair - a challenge to control. And at one time, it was a lovely healthy dark blonde.  At this point, the masses have thinned down and are still a challenge to control but in a different way. And dark blonde is giving way to gray, and no matter how much I try, I find it hard to think of it in terms of "silver threads among the gold"!  At the age of 3 my granddaughter said to me, “Grandma your hair is so pretty.  It's. ... it's. ... [searching for the right word..] ... it’s  gold!"  Sweet child, lovely sentiment, but unfortunately, wrong commodity!

And grey matters.  It starts early when we begin to fear greying, then there's the first couple strands we either pull out or try to pretend are blond, then we buy the hair color that promises to cover the grey….  And, well, you know….

You too?! Me too!

Have you at some point said to someone, "You too?!"

Recently, chatting with a friend, I asked her if she missed her career.  When she said, with emphasis, “Oh yes!”, I exclaimed, "You too?!  Me too!"  The depth of our connection in that moment seemed to take us both by surprise! We agreed we missed going to work but at the same time, didn't have the energy to carry on and for many reasons, it was rather a relief to let it go - very much a push-pull thing.   So we discussed how we have all those hours per week to fill now - do we let our families take up the time?  how do we find volunteer choices that enthuse us? how much should be church involvement and how much community?  how much time/money should we spend on hobbies or travel?   Lots to discuss once we knew it was a shared topic of interest.

I have been thinking about how we – that is the over 65 set - are hovering on the cusp of change with regard to – well… many things – but today I’m thinking about use of the internet.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER

Did you watch the final episode of Downton Abbey? A lot was said about adapting and moving forward into the future and I picked up on it right away since that's where my mind is right now.  And besides, who can argue with the family of the Earl of Grantham?! This conversation takes place on New Year’s Eve--

Lady Cora, "The more adaptable we are, the more chance we have of getting through [meaning the future]" 

Husband, the Earl replies,  "We never know what's coming of course. Who does?"
The Dowager Countess says, "Makes me smile how every year we drink to the future ..."

and the response from Cousin Isobel was, "Well, we're going forward to the future not backwards to the past!"

To which the Dowager replies cheekily with a chuckle, "If only we had the choice!" [Some days I'm with her!]

The fictional story ended with an unspoken but definite nod to...

Since we don't actually live in a fairy tale world, we are perfectly aware that happily ever after is dependent on circumstances and wishful thinking.  But we also know that God’s Word tells us that joy is readily available in all circumstances.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him" (Romans 15:13)

Looking for blogs

I’m sure you’re surprised to receive this after such a long hiatus but I have a question….

Does anyone know of blogs or devotionals being written by Christian women of - shall we say - mature age?

[PS doesn't usually come first in a letter, but it does today.  If you don't want to continue getting my blog you can unsubscribe without hurting my feelings. The list is maintained by a third party and I do not know who subscribes and who doesn't.]

We have some excellent young women writing very well but I crave input from my own generation. The young use examples of pregnancy and child raising, career problems, buying first house, conflicts arising in a young marriage, how to cope with too much to do, etc. I can relate because those are part of my past. Been there. Got the T-shirt. Survived. But now my concerns include career gone, downsizing of home and belongings, losses of all sorts, relating to grown children and their children, having husband home all day because he's retired too, having to manage unscheduled time, etc. I know there are very good blogs and devotionals suitable for all ages and stages and I subscribe to a few. However, I feel the need for some closer camaraderie and I have found very few that fit the category.

Train Tracks Through My Mind

I'm awake in the wee hours of the night listening to the sounds of my community.  I hear the passing soft swish of car tires, the ear splitting racket of a motorcycle (my pet peeve), even faintly the walk light beeping at a nearby intersection.  But it's the low background rumble of a train on the tracks many blocks away that captures my attention. Sometimes I can hear whack crunch thump as cars are sorted or rearranged.  For whatever atmospheric reason, sometimes it sounds like the train is rumbling through our back yard. And even, but rarely, I can hear the train whistle.  It's all reassuring.  It's the normal sound of my world.

Then I start thinking back to trains on the prairies when I was young.  The small towns that featured largest in my life were on a main C.P.R. line. Each small town was announced in huge letters on the grain elevator as we drove by. If we were going into the town or even down one of the narrow lanes to a farm house, it would likely involve bumping up and over the tracks. I don't think there were crossing arms at many of them. 

HANDS

My granddaughter and I had our hands outstretched the other day, both of us reaching for something on the table.  In a flash I “saw” all the years and events that happen between the time when hands look like hers and hands look like mine.  A lifetime!  At age 6 her hands are no longer baby or toddler chubby. They have already experienced much and know how to do many things, but there is so much ahead.

LAUGH

I'm talking about side splitting, cheek hurting, can't stand up straight, all out guffawing!

On a few occasions lately, I have found myself laughing heartily.  After the last one, for some reason, this thought popped into my head - that was such fun, I feel 12 again! – well, maybe 18 but certainly younger than I'm admitting to these days. As the most recent laugh-fest was winding down, I found myself looking down, noticed the backs of my age spotted hands and was instantly struck by the paradox of it.  A complete disconnect. In that moment I was young but my hands were spoilsports!

So I decided to do some research - that is to say, I googled it. After reading a few articles, some pretty scholarly, I decided this fellow summed it up well enough for me:

"No one really knows what laughter is, we know what causes it, but not much more."

I wouldn’t want to get too serious about laughter – that would be oxymoronic, wouldn’t it? By the way, look at the spelling of the word – isn’t that weird enough to cause you to laugh?! 

Un-tired!

     Earlier this week I spent the day in the company of my granddaughters, ages 3 and 5. They had been twirling and plie-ing at dance camp all morning where I picked them up (complicated by an hour's lag between their finishing times). Then a quick stop for a happy meal to eat in the car. We then stopped by and picked up grandpa and were off to the outdoor old-fashioned Burnaby Village Museum.  We walked through and looked in the buildings exclaiming over this and that – the one room schoolhouse, the general store, barbershop, etc - we did the scavenger hunt, and had an ice cream break in the café. This was followed by a ride on the historic carousel before walking across the little bridge back to the parking lot. We had had a lovely time and were all moving just a bit more slowly than when we arrived.

However, almost immediately the 5 year old said eagerly,

  "What are we going to do now, Grandma?"  

  I said, Taking you home. 

  Her response was a gloomy, "Awww, but I want to go play at your house. And we haven’t even gone to the farmer’s market yet”!

     During the drive home in the car she declared she was tired. No doubt. She'd had a busy day!  However, I figured in an hour she'd be rested and rarin’ to go again. 

     Me?  not so much!

     The same day I read the following by C.S. Lewis which sums up exactly how I feel quite often—

... I am frantically busy: and though I get no more tired now than I did when I was younger, I take much longer to get un-tired afterwards.

(From The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, Volume III
Compiled in Yours, Jack)

All the Tomorrows

This morning, through the words of a song, I had a delightful experience in a very special way – in fact, in two ways.

Now that I am this certain age, I have been fretting more than I should about growing older, about all the changes, losses, and concerns that already have begun and that could possibly affect me soon.  I have mentioned previously that what I see when I look at older people is my own fearfulness. I know I'm not alone in this. Had a conversation with a friend this week who just hit the Golden Years and she expressed the same concerns. I've been stuck there in spite of knowing I need not be.  The chorus of the song below that we sang in church this morning affected me to the core!

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,

And life is worth the living…

PRESENT TENSE

The lesson to my heart lately has been on living in the present, neither preferring the past nor fearing the future.  

 The past is gone - the future is not yet come - and the present?

 Well ... that's the problem.  

The Past.. Because of recent moves, I have found myself wishing I could go back to the way things were.

The Future.. Because of being a certain age, I have found myself looking at the elderly and worrying about how things will be.

The Present.. Because of the routine nature of daily life, I have found myself examining and questioning the way things are.

Part of my experience is that friendships define this linear look at time. In fact, that's how these thoughts started to coalesce. 

Spring Gloom

I haven't written much lately.  Have been in a bit of a funk.  

Blame it on... what...??

Spring has never been my favorite season. That’s the bare truth of it. In past years, living on the prairies, snow and cold cycled in and out. Usually there was a cold wind blowing across the still hard ground and frozen sloughs even on sunny days that beckoned you outdoors. Memories of planting garden on the May long weekend wearing coat and boots co-exist with memories of the same while sweating and getting a sun burn. Spring is fickle. Slow to deliver Summer.

It boggles the mind

Bringing this blog to life has caused me to reflect on technology.  We've all received those forwarded emails detailing the many changes current technology has brought our way. Today I can’t help but personalize it a bit.

Personalizing it means backing up to attendance at "Commercial College" in New Westminster taking courses in:

§  comptometer - rows and rows of manual push buttons to do basic math calculations

§  typing  - manual of course  - 60 words a minute was the goal - kah-ching every time you went down a line - remember the noise in the typing pool!

§  bookkeeping ledgers -  long paper in a hardbound book - blue lines both horizontal and vertical - had to be done in pen

§  and as I recall we even took penmanship and spelling tests

Who can forget mimeograph - spirit duplicator - gestetner - thermofax - lots of blue ink and stinky chemicals everywhere - carbon copies - any mistakes were virtually impossible to obliterate. (FYI "gestetner" wasn't even in my built-in word processing dictionary! And does anyone ever use "word processing" in a sentence anymore?!)

Sounds like it all belongs to the last century – and of course - it does!

Is my real self there somewhere?

I have always looked young for my age…

Every once in a while

I looked forward to retirement.  Really I did! Freedom!  And it happened - slowly in a sense, moving from full time to part time to casual and finally to naught.

But I must admit - every once in a while - I miss the hurly burly of the work-a-day world.  My current retired life is lovely, having filled it sensibly with family, travel, volunteering, hobbies -livin' the dream! some might say. But just now and then I miss things like -- winning the job posting, accomplishment resulting from the effort of doing a job well, being sponsored at seminars and conferences, the camaraderie of co-workers, the make it or break it, do or die, climb the ladder of success type of challenges.  Vacations and long weekends had more meaning.

You Guys!!

Today’s blog is actually a rant!

My question is, does anyone other than me have a problem with the phrase,“you guys”?

It makes me cringe!

In the average restaurant, the teenybopper server smiles broadly and asks, “can I get you guys something to drink?”  A few minutes later it’s, “have you guys decided what you wanna eat?”, “can I get you guys more coffee”, and “how’s it tasting, guys?”

Usually about this time, in spite of my husband making please-don’t faces at me, I politely point out that there is only one guy at the table, and that I most certainly am not him!! Or, occasionally, I will pointedly look around me as if to see who the server may be talking to, then say, “oh, I thought you must have been speaking to someone else. There are no guys at this table, just my husband and myself!”

CELEBRATING BIRTHDAYS

This is an interesting month. One of my loved ones turns 3 and another turns 102 and the sweet thing is they adore each other and they're both so good natured.   It certainly gives food for thought about life, death, generations and changes. I'm watching the little one explore the beginning of life and I'm watching the older one fend off the end of life. All the rest of us are, obviously, somewhere in between.  

I've tried and tried to figure out something profound to say about this process of aging - many pundits far more capable than me have written extensively. But now that I'm of a certain age, it seems that I should have arrived at something to say on the subject. All I can think of to say is that I see it proceed one day at a time. We experience being 3 when we're 3, 65 when we're 65, and when we get over 100 we still aren't able to answer the question, 'what does it feel like to be your age?'  I've said it, probably you've said it - I'm 50...65...75 but I only feel 19...29...30. My mom once said she felt 19 but when she looked at her hands, she could see that they were getting old. 

"Life and time are ghosted creatures for us all.  They belong to us - and are not ours at the same time."  The Gift of Years by Joan Chittister.

All of us observe birth and death over and over, but only get to experience them each once as allotted by God's heavenly plan.  Every breath, every day, is part of the mystery of being alive!  

The great thing about this month is the opportunity to enjoy 
two birthday parties.

I'm a-think'n I would be wise to just party and enjoy the mystery!

...and Happy Birthday to any of my readers who are celebrating in October!