I haven't
written much lately. Have been in a bit of a funk.
Blame it on... what...??
Spring has
never been my favorite season. That’s the bare truth of it. In past years,
living on the prairies, snow and cold cycled in and out. Usually there was a cold
wind blowing across the still hard ground and frozen sloughs even on sunny
days that beckoned you outdoors. Memories of planting garden on the May long weekend wearing coat and
boots co-exist with memories of the same while sweating and getting a
sun burn. Spring is fickle. Slow to deliver Summer.
Here on the
West Coast we have beautiful showy tulips, daffodils and flowering trees, and
everything is very green. But the rain has been battering them all and I’m
tired of wearing gear in order to walk around and enjoy them. A few days here and there of warmth and
sunshine just tease while Winter carries on and on. At least in the Autumn a lovely day isn’t a tease, it’s a much
appreciated carryover of summer. You know Winter will take over so you appreciate every day it is staved off.
Allergies?
Yes. Never had them till a few years ago.
Now I cough my way through a couple weeks every spring.
Or maybe it’s
just age - my get up and go has got up and went (Pete Seeger sang it,
remember?)
I’m being
transparent – bein’ honest here – I have a good life and have no reason to feel
low. In fact I feel quite guilty about
feeling this way. My “happy” has
tumbled, taken a bit of a beating. Finding contentment in normal ordinary life eludes me. Boring has taken over - humdrum, flat, stale. I think about phoning a friend but why
spread gloom. Besides, I don’t really want to be jollied out of it. Yet even in the midst of it I can't help but think...
Perhaps a funk is a good place to be sometimes – a bit
reflective, a bit analytical, sitting back in a comfy chair instead of being busy with the sort of busyness that a good mood lends itself to.
Today I’m
giving myself permission to just plod on.
Trying to remember that feelings are just feelings. Life really would be
boring lived in a perfect balance without highs and lows! Without laughter and
tears. Without rain and sunshine. Without Spring and Fall.
‘Let us fear the Lord our God,
who gives autumn and spring rains in season,
who assures us of the regular weeks of harvest.’
who gives autumn and spring rains in season,
who assures us of the regular weeks of harvest.’
(Jeremiah 5)
2 comments:
Love your choice of scripture. Rainy days are gloomy days... but they assure us of a harvest. Most of our days are lived in the ordinary... one foot following the other...
Sometimes our battery runs low ... and like needing to re-charge our phones by making them sit idle while plugged into the socket- so we re-charge by sitting idle in a comfy chair, but plugged into God.
I was out planting my flowers in the misty rain on Saturday. It started as just grey, but by the time I finished planting the dog and I were pretty wet. But even in the rain, seeing my flowers makes me happy. Until they die, because my brown thumb guarantees it. :)
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