Getting emotional over rhododendrons

What a difference a few days can make!  Feelings are so changeable! 

Spring gloom, make way for Spring delight!

Is it just me or are the trees and shrubs putting on an especially good show this Spring?!

A recent walk through the neighbourhood had me marvelling. I was especially oohing and aahing over rhododendrons of every hue and size - they seem to have a magical brightness about them - this one looks like mine in my little front yard.  Many neighbours have hung flower baskets by their front doors or set out pots of bright blooms. The intensely green tips on the ends of the evergreen boughs are evidence of their health and growth. The deciduous leaves are still that fresh new colour. The grass is green and I can smell someone's new mown lawn. 

The bright sun and clear blue sky make me feel happy!

The last statement – and that neighbourhood walk - brought me to an aha moment, to a fresh recognition and a lot of musing on feelings. Everything about nature is factual but by the time it has filtered through my mind, even it is coloured by my emotions. 

At a recent seminar on the subject, a few things stood out to me that I’d like to share (certainly just the tip of the iceberg).

*Emotions are a gift from God to each of us individually and uniquely.

*Emotions move us.  They put energy into motion. For instance, feelings of love will say move closer, lean in; feelings of fear will say watch out, don't proceed, step back.
*Emotions help us navigate our lives. They signal and give feedback, which helps us make decisions that are right for us. 

*Emotions require an accurate vocabulary.  Because none of us is quite like another, it's very important to say precisely what we mean.  Instead of just saying "I'm upset" and expecting your loved one to know how you feel, be more precise - i.e. regretful, demoralized, disappointed, dejected, hopeless, worried...

The whole year my granddaughter was 4, she simply could not handle herself.  Every frustration sent her into a tantrum; every joy sent her reeling; every activity sent her into a frenzy.  Over and over we tried to talk to her about it, we soothed her, smoothed things out, trying to help her manage her reactions, and to get a measure of understanding of herself and her world. Life is tough when you're 4. 

The ABC concept really got my attention.

When someone says or does something unkind to me, I get angry.  Simple statement. The first causes the second. But no, in actuality, there is a step in between that is so ingrained that we often don't realize it.

A = Activating Event  (someone interacts with me)
  [filtered through]
B = Beliefs and thoughts (my standards, expectations, excuses, worldview, etc)
  [leads to]
C = Consequences, i.e. Feelings (anger, disappointment, sadness, joy, etc)  and likely a Physical Reaction too

Simply put:  A = the weather is bad; B = I expect it to be warmer in May; C = I'm depressed (glum, bleak, dispirited, morose)
or A = I let slip something that is supposed to be a secret; B = my standards for my own behaviour tell me I failed; C = I'm remorseful (chagrined, ashamed, regretful, embarrassed)

The seminar led me to understand that the message of the Bible fits into the "B" category because as it becomes ingrained in us, it becomes the filter we process the "A" event through and therefore affects the "C" category, the consequences.

Proverbs 4 says, “I give you sound learning,
    so do not forsake my teaching…
Take hold of my words with all your heart;
    keep my commands, and you will live.
Get wisdom, get understanding;
    do not forget my words or turn away from them.
Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
    love her, and she will watch over you.”

 I know I'll never truly "get a handle" on my emotions, but it will be an unceasing goal to use them wisely and appropriately with God's help.  The Bible records that God can be angry, hurt, sorrowful, joyful, etc, and we have been made in His likeness.  Therefore, emotions are not something to be avoided, but we must learn to temper them (no pun intended!) and understand how they can lead to betterment not destruction.  Be in control, not be controlled.

...Think I'll go for another walk around the neighbourhood ... check on the rhodos ...