Every once in a while

I looked forward to retirement.  Really I did! Freedom!  And it happened - slowly in a sense, moving from full time to part time to casual and finally to naught.

But I must admit - every once in a while - I miss the hurly burly of the work-a-day world.  My current retired life is lovely, having filled it sensibly with family, travel, volunteering, hobbies -livin' the dream! some might say. But just now and then I miss things like -- winning the job posting, accomplishment resulting from the effort of doing a job well, being sponsored at seminars and conferences, the camaraderie of co-workers, the make it or break it, do or die, climb the ladder of success type of challenges.  Vacations and long weekends had more meaning.

Volunteering in the community and in church related ministry is what I'm doing now. It's all good, it's fulfilling and of true and eternal value (I trust). And yet these thoughts come to me, unbidden... what is it that pulls towards - yet pushes against – what I have, what I did have, what I am doing, what I could be doing career wise? Occasionally I even consider brushing off my resume (but usually the thought of the interview process squelches that thought!). And so I ponder and write down my thoughts not as a complete essay, but as an observation.

Contentment is great gain. Am I content? This is a new season of life and every season has its challenges - every beginning - every ending - so having some qualms is not unexpected. Talking to friends about mentoring recently, I realize that it would be great to have a mentor through the challenges of this stage of life, a purposeful relationship that friendship doesn't quite attain.  

Did I mention missing the commute?! What fun is there in watching the traffic jam on morning TV news while having coffee still wearing my housecoat when I could be out there in the thick of things?!

Now that I've thought about it ... yes, overall I'm content ... but still just every once in a while...

Is it just me?...

But godliness with contentment is great gain.  For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. (1Timothy 6:6-7)