This didn't make me happy when I was 20something, married
with children but looked like a high school kid. My
hair was long according to the fad of the time. (I tried ironing it once -
yes, with an iron meant for clothes, and no it wasn't a good idea especially to
do for yourself on your own head!) I got it cut short so that my husband
could tell me apart from the high school girls he taught in the classroom every
day.
And it didn't make me happy when I was in grade school because I was a year ahead of most (skipped grade one thanks to an enthusiastic aunt who catered to my desire to learn) and also small
for my age, therefore, easily overlooked - especially since I was always the new
girl in the many new places we lived.
In my career years I worked hard at looking like I was "equal" and tried
to project an aura of professionalism.
The years have passed and longtime friends remark, you haven't changed a bit!
So I’m wondering -- Is that good or bad? Haven't the years matured
me, made me into something I wasn't when I was younger? Doesn't my face reflect that? Do I want it to? They are kind and I appreciate it and it makes me feel good. But...
I always thought that my turn would come and as the older one, I'd be respected
simply for that - for being older and wiser. But, somehow, I must have skipped that era because now I
find I am older but ought to look and act younger! There are more styling
appliances, colours, highlights, and more cosmetics and procedures than anyone
could try in a lifetime.
Who says I “ought to”?! Am I strong enough to ignore the ads? and the magazine
stories about women my age taking up marathon fitness regimes? Climbing
mountains. Having liposuction and botox. Am I strong enough to look
at other women more or less my age and not compare myself to their hair,
makeup, body shape? Am I strong enough to look like my real self?
But do I really want to look like my real self? My age… old… older…
oldish…?? Not. Yikes!
I am so double-minded!
These are my thoughts as we progress into this new year during which I expect
to have another birthday. I've decided it's important to me to go natural
with hair colour (but I'm not promising that I won't decide to have a few
highlights!) My hairdresser says I now have virgin hair... hmmm ... 2nd childhood?
I'm trying to make friends with the woman I see in
the mirror whose natural salt and
pepper strands are taking over from chemically induced "gold" locks. Some days she looks like a good friend to me…
other days?… well...
"the splendor of old [wo]men
is their gray hair". Proverbs 20:29
And I'm wondering... Do you muse, ponder, reflect? ...
And it didn't make me happy when I was in grade school because I was a year ahead of most (skipped grade one thanks to an enthusiastic aunt who catered to my desire to learn) and also small for my age, therefore, easily overlooked - especially since I was always the new girl in the many new places we lived.
In my career years I worked hard at looking like I was "equal" and tried to project an aura of professionalism.
The years have passed and longtime friends remark, you haven't changed a bit! So I’m wondering -- Is that good or bad? Haven't the years matured me, made me into something I wasn't when I was younger? Doesn't my face reflect that? Do I want it to? They are kind and I appreciate it and it makes me feel good. But...
I always thought that my turn would come and as the older one, I'd be respected simply for that - for being older and wiser. But, somehow, I must have skipped that era because now I find I am older but ought to look and act younger! There are more styling appliances, colours, highlights, and more cosmetics and procedures than anyone could try in a lifetime.
Who says I “ought to”?! Am I strong enough to ignore the ads? and the magazine stories about women my age taking up marathon fitness regimes? Climbing mountains. Having liposuction and botox. Am I strong enough to look at other women more or less my age and not compare myself to their hair, makeup, body shape? Am I strong enough to look like my real self?
These are my thoughts as we progress into this new year during which I expect to have another birthday. I've decided it's important to me to go natural with hair colour (but I'm not promising that I won't decide to have a few highlights!) My hairdresser says I now have virgin hair... hmmm ... 2nd childhood?
"the splendor of old [wo]men is their gray hair". Proverbs 20:29
And I'm wondering... Do you muse, ponder, reflect? ...
Are you like me? ...
1 comment:
I really relate to the old lady looking in the mirror... I remember mom saying she seldom recognized her reflection. I walk away feeling much younger than my mirror tells me I am... although a young friend once watched me combing my hair and commented "you're one of those people who look different in the mirror than in real"... leaving me rather unsure which way I looked different... and rather hoping the younger looking me was the one outside the mirror.
May we age gracefully....
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