You too?! Me too!

Have you at some point said to someone, "You too?!"

Recently, chatting with a friend, I asked her if she missed her career.  When she said, with emphasis, “Oh yes!”, I exclaimed, "You too?!  Me too!"  The depth of our connection in that moment seemed to take us both by surprise! We agreed we missed going to work but at the same time, didn't have the energy to carry on and for many reasons, it was rather a relief to let it go - very much a push-pull thing.   So we discussed how we have all those hours per week to fill now - do we let our families take up the time?  how do we find volunteer choices that enthuse us? how much should be church involvement and how much community?  how much time/money should we spend on hobbies or travel?   Lots to discuss once we knew it was a shared topic of interest.

I have been thinking about how we – that is the over 65 set - are hovering on the cusp of change with regard to – well… many things – but today I’m thinking about use of the internet.

During my career computers evolved and I kept pace. Those a bit older hadn't used them.  Those a bit younger grew up with them and have taken them for granted. Therefore I see my generation perched on this cusp.

The younger generation has become, generally speaking, okay with putting their lives out on the net via social media so it stands to reason they would carry this over to their blogs and devotionals.  However, we older ones - speaking for myself at least - were taught that privacy was next to the Golden Rule in importance and you should never air your linen in public!  At any rate, devotionals have mostly involved lessons or examples from someone somewhere written in the third person but not from what happened personally to the writer last week.  

Chatting at quilting bees or while picking berries belongs to the past but now we have the ability to get together online so it's the same but different, isn’t it?  I love to compare thoughts, experiences and feelings with my peers and learn from those older or wiser than me.  In person is definitely the best! Looking another woman in the eyes.  Sensing the camaraderie.  Experiencing together smiles or tears - not communicated by emoticons ! - but accompanied by hugs and hand holding.  But no doubt online camaraderie can be a great addition to our lives during a time of need.

One of the things I have in mind is loss.  There are many types of losses.  If I get thinking about it, it can be pretty depressing - career, as I already mentioned - what about a steady hand and good eyesight to maintain hobbies? - sore muscles and creaky bones that keep us from certain activities - health problems that keep us from getting travel insurance...  Need I go on? You no doubt could add to the list.  A loss is a loss and so even though not exactly the same, the similarities (You too?!)  shared and compared (Me too!)  help a lot!  A shared topic of interest.

Venting, commiserating, and sharing fears are of some value for sure, but the greatest value whether online or in person is in being encouraged in our faith walk.  For example, I’ve been struck by a familiar verse about comforting and sharing which is newly appropriate in this context.

 In this passage I definitely see You too?! - Me too!

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-7)

I want to encourage and be encouraged and to know that I'm not alone in my concerns. I want help in seeing God's word in a fresh new way that is relevant to this stage of life.  A lot of aging happens after 65. Maybe we will have another 30 years to live but it won't be the same as the 30 years previous ... it takes time to accept that, to change focus, to adapt. Referring back to my previous comments on careers ... there are no seminars or sabbaticals that the boss sends you on.  Are we now more like a small business owner - you do it yourself or it doesn't get done?  We need to send ourselves to Bible studies, church, conferences, etc, and read or write blogs and devotionals to keep up our spiritual energy for the years ahead.  I love the fact that we can use the new technology for spiritual enrichment.

My challenge to myself is to seek out others - next door, down the block, at church, around the world - and share with them so that they have the opportunity to say - You too?! - Me too! - and through that small phrase find encouragement.

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[Postscript:

After I had this piece pretty much written I remembered Beth Moore using the phrase “you too/me too.”  I guess it's been hovering in the back of my mind but she deserves the credit for the idea.  I have found her Bible studies valuable and encouraging over the years.]