IT’S HARD TO BE RED IN A MULTICOLOURED WORLD

 

 

In recognition of the odd one out... aka...

     It's hard to be mostly red in a multicolored world...

 

I have a unique bulb on my string of outdoor Christmas lights. The lights on the string are meant to work together to light up the community, shifting as a unit from one colour to another. But one bulb, second from the left, is not quite like the others. It constantly tries very hard.  It really struggles to be like the other bulbs, but...

When every other bulb is blue, Unique Bulb takes too long to think about it. So while the others are changing from blue to purple, it is trying hard but only gets up a bit of colour before the others move on, changing to red. When it is finally mostly red and no doubt feeling quite successful, the others have all turned purple again. Consequently, much of the time it remains a red bulb on a purple string or a blank bulb on a blue string.  And so it goes, time after time. Except that every once in a while, Unique Bulb puts in a spectacular effort- it gets red first and glows redder longer than all the rest. But .... only for that moment and then it's back to trying to keep pace again. I suspect it's nearly exhausted from the effort.

I admire the fact that it keeps fighting but wouldn't be too surprised if it just gives up sometime soon and ends up watching from the sidelines, no doubt wishing it didn't have its particular disability. Wishing the others would accept it however odd or in whatever colour it was born to be, slowing down at times so they could all change colours together.

Sometimes someone needs a bit of recognition and inclusion or perhaps a reminder that in God’s sight we are all Precious and Unique Bulbs.

 

 

 

Requiem to Soft Edges

Oct 2, 2020

Now that my eyesight has been perfected thanks to cataract surgery, I find that in some obscure ways, I miss my glasses. Months later my hands automatically still reach to take them off and put them on the bedside table last thing at night and reach for them again first thing in the morning.

Even more than the physical habits, there is an associated emotional habit. I think I associate removing them with a signal that it's rest time. Or maybe it's about not being able to have a slowing down step at night and the opposite ramping up step in the morning. Just before sleep comes, even in the semidarkness of the bedroom, I can still see sharp outlines of furniture and clothing in the far corners. And the same thing in the midnight hours and first thing in the morning. It just feels wrong.

I also find that I miss getting a break from seeing everything so highly defined. I was extremely near sighted so although I was grateful for the corrective lenses, my sight was always compromised to some extent. Now, no matter where or when I look, I see everything. I'm not talking about wishing to not see the dust accumulating or sticky fingerprints, it's about the whole sharp picture of everything within scope. Life in general has no soft edges any more.

The loss of the little ritual of cleaning my glasses especially before I left the house in the morning has sometimes made me feel like I've forgotten something important but I can't quite remember what.

Recently as I looked at the full moon, I was astonished at how clearly defined the edges were - as though drawn with a very sharp pencil. I think I miss the soft edges of light that I used to see either wearing or not wearing my old glasses.

It's an unexpected reaction to an amazing privilege but it doesn't mean I'd go back to pre-surgery days! It's just a lesson in dealing with change - a good change - but a change.

[Requiem = Grief expressed in reaction to a loss.]

WALKING AND CONTEMPLATION

For me, during this Covid-19 pandemic, most days a walk has been a good counterbalance to the stay at home measures. Sometimes I've driven to a park or trail but usually just went out the door and around the neighbourhood. I feel like I've worn a groove in my neighbours’ sidewalks. Thanks to a good friend I recently learned that I could virtually walk elsewhere in the world and find that to be very intriguing because I can't envision actually doing the real thing any time soon.

I would dearly love to walk the Camino de Santiago (the Way of St. James) in Europe with destination being the cathedral in Santiago de Compostela in Spain. Now I know that I can do so virtually. Gotta love modern technology! I log the miles I walk here and the program moves my little stick-self along the route and provides photos of what I would have seen if I had actually been there. It certainly has added interest and purpose to wearing out my shoe leather. It's amazing how every mile I've walked near my home has been accumulating and bringing me closer to my virtual destination.

I chose the Camino Portugues starting in Porto, Portugal, heading north along the coastline because I've been to Porto and loved it.

As I've walked through my neighbourhood, even when things have felt bleak, I've tried to appreciate nature as it blossomed from spring into early summer. I watched as daffodils had their turn and gave way to rhododendrons and then to foxgloves and blackberries. And I've thanked God for beauty and creation. (Now if I could only learn to look past the lawns left to go to seed and the weeds taking over what should be flowerbeds. Reminder to self: God created what we call weeds too. But I digress…)

In general, people seem to love to be in motion - from prams and jolly jumpers, through toy cars and pedal bikes, skateboards, roller skates, bicycles, motorcycles, jogging, swimming, running, cars, boats, and more. So it's not surprising that hiking or walking is an enjoyable activity. Disregarding walking as a competition or activity where we want to be seen as being successful, why would anyone choose to walk for a month?!  What’s the value? Why do I still say I’d love to do it? These are the questions I have been asking myself.

There was a time when a pilgrimage was undertaken because the ensuing mass and certificate of pilgrimage ensured believers would spend less time in purgatory but these days this religious reason is not often cited. However, I know that one of my desires would be to spend lots of time meditating on God and His mysteries and just allowing myself to be absorbed by the surroundings.

I remember walking a short portion of the Via Appia in Italy. There was something about the history underfoot and the connection to generations past that was very meaningful. There's also something about the personal connection of feet to the ground. Walking under the branches of a tree vs driving past it. Smelling the earthy air of flowers and fields vs hurrying by with windows up and air conditioning on.

Additionally, I would definitely enjoy chatting with other pilgrims during our together yet alone adventure. There would be lots of unhurried time either walking or sitting together in the evenings for sharing. I would love viewing the various vistas along the pathways and stopping in small communities for coffees or meals. Less desirable would be sore muscles and blistered feet that go along with it or the shared accommodations overnight.

Even on my short walks around the neighbourhood, I've noticed how quickly I can get into a mode of contemplation. My feet keep moving forward of their own accord and my scattered mind does a reset often settling on nothing in particular. . Lately I’ve thought a lot about the difference between loneliness and solitude. I can choose the one over the other if I have the will to do so. I can turn the negative sense of unhappy loneliness into a positive and constructive solitary state of mind. I am fully aware that I need God’s help to do this and I know He is very willing to provide the strength and faith required. I can then walk through each day on the path of inner peace and joy.

Spring/Summer 2020

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Psalm 23

 

 

Our religious activities should be ordered in such a way

as to have plenty of time for the cultivation of the fruits of

solitude and silence.

A.W. Tozer

 

Timely News

TIMELY NEWS

It is with a heavy heart today that I share this timely news.

A favourite clock has taken to doing the unbelievable! It has thrown off the yoke of responsibility and has conferred upon itself a new daily routine! Chief among the changes is that it chooses to display on its face whatever numbers it happens to fancy.  Disappointing really, considering that its role in life when we adopted it from the store was to take on the daily responsibility for the routine of getting a child up and out to school, be on call all day and then accompany him/her to sleep at night. To abandon all responsibilities just because of aging is simply unconscionable. What kind of example is that to the younger clocks?

Where would they have started – these thoughts such as letting the numbers roll around however they want and stop whenever they feel like it? 

On the other hand, why shouldn't an old clock be able to enjoy a bit of freedom before the final sad unplugging!? Maybe it should be able to pick any hour or any minute and re-live the quietness of early mornings or the alarming jangle of its youth (which, if truth be told, was more like a loud and annoying buzz saw to anyone in the room, but memories are often romanticized).

In the vein of the antics of the person in the poem, "When I am old I shall wear purple", I am beginning to think that it must have been hatching these thoughts of freedom for some time.  On another other hand, perhaps we should be celebrating such freedom - a sort of emancipation from the tyranny of time and the regular work-a-day world.

It has been our pleasure to have the clock in our family all these years and we've made the timely decision that we're not going to chuck it out now just because it's developed a quirkiness or two.  It deserves to enjoy its retirement however it chooses to use it! 

In Search of a Retrieval System

IN SEARCH OF A RETRIEVAL SYSTEM

It's a conundrum!

And it’s frustrating!

Let me try to explain.

Due to the Covid-19 self-isolation measures we are currently encountering and needing to fill extra hours at home, I couldn’t access my usual bookstores or even the library, so I decided it was time to sign up for library ebooks.  In a complicated, convoluted series of events, I ended up signing up at two different libraries with their two different ebook suppliers. And that’s what launched this journey through my conundrum…

I'm accumulating information that I don't quite know how to manage. It's all those wee bits here and there that I'm afraid I'll forget. I get an internal picture of myself jotting something down on a yellow stickie and posting it on my forehead. That's followed by another and another to the point where I am covered from top to toe by little coloured stickies and they’ve even taken over my kitchen wall.

Later, I need that bit of information, so I start to hunt.  I kinda remember.  I am pretty sure it's there somewhere.  I search and rustle through them, but that just makes them start to fall off!  It’s a dreadful jumble - there's no organization at all.  It is beyond frustrating! 

          Help! I need an index!

That's not actually what has happened of course. The truth is I have those bits of information carefully digitally saved. The problem is laying my hands on them. I hunt through gmail. Then through WhatsApp. Then through Messenger. Then through Texts. Then I think maybe I saved it in a document so search through the computer. Or did I hear it on a webinar or zoom meeting? Read it in one of the email articles that come by subscriptions that I've signed up for? Facebook? Or maybe it was in conversation with a neighbour or my husband. No wait - maybe I got the information in a phone call.  I'm old fashioned enough to still have a notebook beside the phone - but the phone (cordless of course) is never beside the notebook.

          Help! I need an index! 

Back to what launched this epic journey through the jumble in my mind.

Yesterday I sat down to read my book and suddenly realized that I'm not sure where to find the one I’m in the middle of. Is it on that library's ebook service or the other library? Is it on a pdf? Did I leave it, a “real” paperback, upstairs beside the bed? Maybe on Kindle, perhaps I should check there first.

As a retired librarian, I know information retrieval is all about indexes. Many well written books full of good information have been useless because of a lack of indexing or at least a table of contents. I need both! 

          Help!  I need a retrieval system….
                     And please tell me I'm not the only one.

[If you are receiving this due to subscribing via your email, you can go to the address below to see the blog in its published form, make a comment or view previous posts.  Thanks for reading my reflections. Velma.]

http://uponreflect.blogspot.com/  

EMPTY WORDBOXES IN MY MIND

EMPTY WORDBOXES IN MY MIND

Seems like I'm often struggling for a word lately.

A word.

Just an ordinary word.

I know that it happens to the best of us but that doesn't make it any less disconcerting.

I get a picture in my head of going to a huge bank of small lockboxes or mailboxes. A key is in my hand, my arm reaches out to turn the lock and open the small compartment. I look inside but to my horror the space is empty! The word has vanished!

So then I circle around trying out synonyms - you know, green vegetable, looks like little trees - with the sound of confusion in my voice accompanied by just a touch of whining. Or perhaps I circle around and mentally reopen that word box hoping against hope that it will have reappeared but I peer into the recesses again and - nope - still gone. So I finish my thought lamely using a description or a synonym.

Other times I see the word as a tiny bird which rests in the wordbox as if on the branch of a tree. Just when I need it, the bird flies up and darts across my line of vision so fast I’m left with only a vague impression of it.  

It's so frustrating! Sometimes the word is there where I can find it but that only increases my unease when it's not. Maybe this isn’t the right key? the right box? And if not, where do I find it?

In the midst of complaining of not finding words when I need them, an interesting old Cockney word popped into my head – “scarpered” – that’s what’s happened, the word I need has scarpered!  What a great word!  I like the way it sounds when said out loud, and it suits the way I feel very well. The word I need has scarpered and left me suddenly and – it sometimes feels – with malice.

Sadly, I have come to fear those empty wordboxes so that it's often easier to abandon trying to verbalize my thoughts. I have found myself shaking my head and muttering "words… words".

That's why I like writing. I can take time to get the right word in the right place and no one knows if it took a dictionary or several returns to the wordbox to find it.

Speaking of which, where is my pen?  I’m hunting in the bottom of my purse and it seems to be gone. Like some weird outtake of a nursery rhyme …and the pen ran away with the word…

…done a bunk   vamoosed    skedaddled    scarpered…

[If you are receiving this due to subscribing via your email, you can go to the address below to see the blog in its published form, make a comment or view previous posts.  Thanks for reading my reflections. Velma.]

http://uponreflect.blogspot.com/  

Finding a comfortable place to be

When the future is uncertain, the past seems a safer place to be. 

Do you find yourself leaning towards comfort these days of Covid-19 pandemic? I do.

Good old-fashioned foods. Not only do they satisfy but are often made with simple ingredients that we probably have in our pantries or freezers. Biscuits. Bread Pudding. Pancakes. Mac and cheese. Baked beans.

Another question - do you find yourself leaning towards old comfortable friends and relatives these days? Even if the years have seen us move miles apart from each other, our hearts have never been distant so it's easy to reconnect. Someone we went to school with. Someone we went to church with. Cousins, aunts, uncles. A neighbour from 2 or 3 moves ago. Best friends when our children were born.

Did you pull out your old board games so you can sit around the table like in past days, rather than playing the digital version? Scrabble. Checkers. Puzzles – I hear they are hard to come by on the store shelves these days.

Are you, like me, tending to choose to listen to favourite music from years past?- even if listening to them on a thoroughly modern program like Spotify!!  Remember "A little bit country and a little bit rock n roll".  Elvis.  Doris Day.  Patsy Cline.  Louis Armstrong. Joni Mitchell.  B.J.Thomas.

Gospel music from the Gaithers comforts and encourages me.  Old hymns. Andrea Crouch.  Evie. Amy Grant. Any number of southern gospel quartets.

I'm rewatching old movies. Kinda wish I still had my VCR and collection of tapes.

Did you know that The Beverley Hillbillies TV show is on reruns?  Well, that's old vocab, actually it's available on a streaming service.

Gentle and comfortable books like Anne of Green Gables or the Mitford series are my choice these days.

And when I'm reading the Bible, I’m not back to the King James version of the church of my youth! -  but enjoy the NIV for the comfort and familiarity of the passages.

In general, I find I am not taking up the challenge of learning new information or tackling online courses.

A walk through the neighbourhood confirms that the natural world has not gone into hiding. I am revelling in the sight of green grass and blossoms, birds chirping and squirrels scurrying. It's comfortably the same as every year but somehow more precious today when everything else is off kilter.

Finding comfort in the past – the old and familiar - is very appealing to me right now. It seems like living in the present is akin to being in a waiting room while the future has been put on hold.

Then I remember Paul’s words in Ephesians 5, “So be very careful how you live, not being like those with no understanding, but live honorably with true wisdom, for we are living in evil times. Take full advantage of every day as you spend your life for his purposes.  And don’t live foolishly for then you will have discernment to fully understand God’s will.” (TPTversion)

Here’s a quote I identify with--  “Our culture – and even our faith tradition – can easily convince us that it’s better to live somewhere other than the present. My time can be sucked into thinking about yesterday or tomorrow. But there’s an element of eternity in every moment we’re given. Today, I have breath in my lungs. Today, there’s life to be lived with God by my side. I just need to take a moment to see it.”  (Cheryl, Twenty-six Letters, online)

There then, is the challenge – “take full advantage of every day”!  There is no built in excuse for times of pandemics. In fact, more than just satisfying myself with something that feels comfortable, at this time it’s vitally important to step out of that zone of comfort and instead be the one to bring comfort to others in whatever way I can, today and every day.

This is the day that the Lord has made! Let us rejoice and be glad in it.!

(Psalm 118:24)

[If you are receiving this due to subscribing via your email, you can go to the address below to see the blog in its published form, make a comment or view previous posts.  Thanks for reading my reflections. Velma.]

http://uponreflect.blogspot.com/